Sorry for so many downer posts lately, but I am in such a funk lately, and can't figure out how to get out of it. I'm hoping maybe some of my readers can offer me some advice! As you may remember from my recent post, this all started off about two weeks ago, when I got scolded at work. I really felt that it was unfair, and though I later decided that I wasn't as blameless as I felt, and that I should just take it for what it was, and take note and improve my performance. But since then, I've just felt really down and blah and icky and unhappy and upset and all sorts of other synonyms. The issue at work led to other thoughts - fear that I won't ever get a pay increase. Fear that I am going to be unhappy in my career for the rest of my life. Fear that I will never climb the corporate ladder, so to speak. (Although I HATE corporations, and really don't want to work in a corporate environment.) This has led me to be very anxious about wanting to progress in life - to buy a home, to have a baby, to start a business in which I can work more for myself and more from my own home. I know all these are long-term goals, but when I am currently unhappy, it's so hard to see them as FUTURE goals, and not things that I want ASAP. I am feeling really down and depressed that we have not heard back on the house we made an offer on. I am also depressed that no new houses in our price range/desired neighborhoods have been available in the past 3 weeks. I am so afraid that we won't find something before the market starts going back up again, and we can no longer afford a home. I am afraid that by the time we ever buy a house, I will be well into my 30's, and we will start having problems conceiving a child once we are ready for that step.
Basically, I feel like nothing is going right, and I want to cry all the time...I am always depressed about all these things and I can't stop stressing about them. I have not been feeling well - my stomach has been feeling weird, I've been tired, I've been achy, I just don't feel RIGHT. I'm constantly wanting to snack (although I don't because I'm trying so hard to diet), probably just because I'm depressed. I know so many pregnant girls right now that I can't help but think "maybe I'm pregnant" but I know that it's VERY unlikely (we do take precautions about these things!) but this is just another thing for me to obsess and stress over.
I am at my wit's end, really. I can't concentrate on work, I constantly worry from one thing to another. I don't know what to do to get my head back on straight! I'm not usually like this. I have had issues with depression a couple of times in my life, but they always pass, and are never a big deal. But I just feel so awful. I don't know how to get over it! Have any of you ever felt like this? What do you do about it?