Thursday, February 5, 2009

Life sure can be hard sometimes.

Do you ever have those weeks where nothing seems to go right? I mean, nothing is majorly WRONG, but nothing is RIGHT either, and you just feel plain terrible? My last almost two weeks now have been like that, ugh. I got scolded at work last week, and that just seemed to set everything off. I feel like I'm on eggshells at work...I'm so paranoid I'm going to get in trouble and lose  my chance at ever getting a raise, and then never being able to afford to buy a home without a roommate, so we can never have a baby. Ugh. Such a chain of "what ifs." I feel like I work so hard and make so little money that I'm never going to get anywhere. What if it never pays off? What if all the extra hours I put in, and time I don't get to spend with my husband because I'm working never get me anywhere? Will I always be the lowest paid employee at my company? Will I ever make anything of myself in life?

On top of that, I've started working out a lot, which I love. I have realized that I am DEFINITELY a group exercise person. I've been going to my gym for close to a year now, and never got myself to actually try a class. I decided that this was going to be the year I saw my abs again, so I decided to try the Energizer Core class. O.M.G. It hurt SO bad. But in a good way. I quickly became obsessed. If you think about it, the first time I ever got in shape was in boot camp. That's pretty much the hardest core workout you can ever get. My whole Marine Corps career, I was in good shape because I had someone showing me what to do, and the group atmosphere really helped me get motivated. So, yeah. Classes are what I needed.

Anyway, my point is that my body has been S O R E. And tired. And exhausted. And I've been trying to eat less calories and eat healthier, so my body is kind of pissed at me. Add that to being stressed out from work, and having a visit from Aunt Flo, and having your husband be irritated at you for not being in the mood, and yeah. Life has SUCKED these past couple weeks.

Seriously, how do you get through this? Do you just grin and bear it and wait till it passes and life is just peachy again? I am so tired of feeling like I want to cry every day because I just can't deal, or I'm going to pass out. Ugh. Hopefully things will pick up a bit next week!


Tessa said...

you should cry when you feel like you want/need to, spend time with friends, call us when you need to talk and know that all of this will pass you will feel better (I promise!) as far as your job goes i feel you with the walking on egg shells. i've been balled out by my boss more times than i can count in my 8.5 years there, and i still get raises and have moved up the company ladder. this will happen for you too, but boy it's tough when you're in the thick of it.

::HUGS:: to you sweetie and i hope you are feeling in better spirits next week!!!

Alanna said...

Aw, thanks, Tessa. I'm glad to know that my career isn't necessarily over! It's so hard to see the big picture sometimes. Thank God for good friends like you and the rest of the girls! :)