I have had so many thoughts going through my head since yesterday morning, since finding out that we are having a little girl. At first it was a feeling of shock - realizing that we are NOT having a boy, worrying that Mike would not be happy, wondering what we will do with a little girl. Within a few moments of finding out that baby is a girl, after the initial shock wore off, I felt such emotion and my eyes welled up with tears (tears of joy, not sadness!).
In the past 24 hours, I have become more and more excited about my little girl. As much as I've been wanting a boy, for some reason I always found myself daydreaming of having a daughter. Whenever I imagined myself with a child, I always imagined myself with a little blond girl. When I was trying to think of ways to decorate the nursery, I had no clue what I would do for a boy, but I had my little girl nursery planned out from the start. Maybe subconsciously my body has been telling me that I was having a daughter first all along!
I feel like I love her even more now, just knowing that "it" is a "she." It seems so much more real now. I can start to imagine what she will look like, how she will act, and imagine all the things we will do together. I can't wait to dress her in cute little clothes, style her hair, paint her nails, and teach her how to bake, sew, and all kinds of fun girlie things. This morning I went to get my little Alice in Wonderland figurine that I had as a child since I thought it would be a cute start for decorating the nursery. I ended up finding several of my childhood possessions that I have been holding on to, in hopes that I would someday have a daughter to give them to.
We can always try for a boy next time (and Mike is planning to, as soon as I am physically ready to be pregnant again!), but for now, we will have a firstborn daughter. Just as it was meant to be. I keep imagining my parents at my age, with me as their firstborn child. (My parents are of course thrilled, since my little girl will be their first granddaughter after having 3 grandsons! My siblings are also thrilled to finally have a niece!)
I know there will be trials down the road, especially as she becomes a teenager, but we'll deal with those things when the time comes. (And honestly, I'm sure that boys come with trials of their own!) For now we will focus on taking care of an infant - and we will enjoy every moment of it!