September 8, 2009
Today I am having a really hard time not telling people my secret. Part of me wants to go ahead and start telling close friends, and part of me wants to wait. I booked my first prenatal appointment for Monday morning, October 5th. We will have an ultrasound that morning. Right now only our parents and a couple very close friends know, and I am so nervous to tell anyone else. I have spent way too much time reading stories of other women having miscarriages, and I am so scared that it will happen to me. I don't want to spend my whole pregnancy in fear and stress, but it's hard not to worry. I know that M and I are both healthy, and our family history is good, so there is really no reason to worry. I am trying my best to just enjoy things as they come, and not worry too much about what might happen. I will probably just take a few more pregnancy tests before my first doctor appointment to make sure that I am still pregnant! I am going to try to hold out on telling everyone until after my ultrasound, but I think I'll probably end up telling my girlfriends sooner!
So far, I don't seem to have any major symptoms. My boobs still feel very full, as they have since the start of my last cycle. The tenderness seems to be subsiding for now. M can't wait until they really start growing! I've had a lot of headaches, but that's been an issue since I stopped taking my migraine medicine. No worries...I can deal with that! Yesterday we stopped at Barona Casino on our motorcycle ride, and the smoke and the air in there really made me feel nauseous. The bumpy ride on the way home made my stomach even more upset. This morning when I woke up, my lower back hurt a little bit, but that didn't last long. All day long, I had short waves of nausea, but nothing major. I did go to the gym, but I couldn't work out too hard because of my nausea. Other than that, I've gotten little uterus twinges now and then, and that's about the extent of my symptoms! I'm surprised I haven't been hungry, since a lot of my friends say they were ravenous when they first got pregnant, but my appetite has been half what it usually is. I'm hoping to lose some weight at first, with the lack of alcohol. Maybe I can lose my beer belly before the baby belly starts! I really can't wait til my bump shows though!